After the marriage you have settled in with your husbands family, you may discover that your brother-in-law (BIL) is not friendly or neighbor. However, your BIL does play an important part in the family, and your life. He is the brother of your husband so as you have to stay close to him for the whole life.

He acts as a guardian of the family and can be a nice person to have on your side when you have to deal with negotiations in your new home. Although every guy is different, Punjabi guys have a certain pride and attitude that is very distinct. Often, especially if you’re not used to this type of attitude, there are five different ways you can deal with your Punjabi BIL.

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 Get to Know Each Other

Brothers-in-law can be immature or resistant to letting a new person into the family. Everyone gets a little insecure when a new member enters the family, so your basic aim is to settle down and change everyone’s attitude, making you a distinct family member. BILs are not that tough, you just require to gain his confidence by interacting with him and showing a little bit of interest in his life.

 Set a Goal


Trust is the biggest treasure one can gain from each another. Set a goal, or benchmark, of a time when you can be comfortable With your BIL around you. You should keep a positive attitude with him, and Prove him through your actions that he can have faith in you. Respect his stage in the family, and he will respect yours. By the time, once you reach the goal of winning his trust, you’ll notice him including you more.

 Take a Casual Approach

casual behaviour

Punjabis prefer their mother tongue so as you BIL, Punjabi. So you too prefer a conversation in Punjabi around your BIL and you do not have to be too formal in your communications with your BIL. This will keep things in a flow. Language helps you take control over your body. It makes you casual by expressing what is meant. Talk about the common interest. talk about casual Punjabi things together like Punjabi music. Being pals can be done and letting positive emotions take part can make things work in a positive direction.

 Listen & Act

The number one rule of life is to think before you react and make it an action. Be a mentor or a guiding light and be a good listener at all times. Spend time, play cards and eat food Punjabi style. Punjabis are big food lovers as I am. After marriages, usually families hang out for dinners and this is the best time you can be at ease and get to know the taste of your brother in law. Learn to be a good chef too, gaining confidence and earning good marks from him by the food you prepare.

 Break the ICE

break the ice

It is supposed to be like that eating habits speaks the personality of the person in front of you, so act appropriately and have good manners at the dinner table. A few manners will take you a long way. At first, your BIL Not BILL that comes for the food you eat will be shy and won’t find it fit to talk with their “bhabhi” (sister in law) so you need to break the ice and talk to him and remove the awkwardness if any.

 Sweet & Sour Approach

stop it

Last but not the least, actions speak louder than words. You need to set your limits too. If you would be too casual then he may overpower you, so at times being blunt in a way or two will change the way he sees you. While you do need to be nice to him, it’s important for you to stand your ground so he will treat you with the respect you deserve in your new Punjabi matrimony.